Friday, October 15, 2010

12 - The Tragedy of Bushius Caesar Act 4 Scene 1

         Enter McCainus, Georgius P. Bushius and Hastertus

McCainus:        ‘Tis meet we meet. Hail, welcome, Georgie P!

Georgius P.        Is that an order? Some spot drug test?

McCainus:                                                                   Gee!
                         Zip up at once, post haste, thou preppy fool!
                         It is thy second name, now hide thy tool!
                         'Tis P for Prescott; after great-grandad
                         They named thee, not the P for pee, dumb lad!
Georgie P.         And all these years I thought it was for bladder
                         That they did dub me, not for great-grandadda

Will S.:              Ye gods! The fam’ly genes do persevere
                         And they will out despite my verse, I fear.
                         Unto the third gen’ration God did shout
                         A-visiting he’d go. Here ‘tis borne out.  

Writing C.           Fear not, sweet Will, I will a plan forthwith
                         Devise with grammar-meister and wordsmith
                         To counter thus our anguish.

McCainus:                                                      Let’s divide
                         Prestige and power when we override
                         Poor feeble Chenie. Let us now defuse
                         All those who may our rise to pow’r refuse.
                         Do thou, Hastertus, to the House make haste
                         And all our foes and say-nays do thou waste.
                                Alarums, excursions. Enter sponsor 1

Sponsor 1:         Who runs the waste disposal in Eye-rak
                         For all our troops? ‘Tis us, great us, we’re back!
                         At Halliburton yet again we did
                         Gain lucre-loaded contract sans a bid.
                                                      Exit sponsor 1

Hastertus:          Then I will off to expedite our plan.
                                                   Exit Hastertus

McCainus:         This is a slight, unmeritable man
                         In worth if not in girth, but our context
                         Doth need his status’ pretext, since he’s next
                         In Constitution’s predetermined line
                         On ladder’s lofty climb to pow’r divine,
                         Sith after Chenie, first in line as Vice,
                         The speaker of the House picks up the dice.
                         So thus we use him, but it is not fit,
                         The threefold world divided, he should sit
                         One of the three to share it, he and we,
                         So his use used, we off him, Georgie P.    

Georgie P.:        Another drug test? Pass the urine cup.

McCainus:         No! P for Prescott, not for pee. Zip up,
                         Thou blithering twat-wit!

Georgie P.:                                            Oh, I see your point,
                         That we us two ourselves alone anoint.

McCainus:         Amen! But first united we confront
                         And thwart, all three, the Chenie-Rummie stunt.

Georgie P.:         Let us do so, for we are at the stake
                          And bayed about. Let’s move, full speed, Chrissake!

                                   Alarums, excursions. Enter sponsor 2

Sponsor 2:         The greasy steak is baying at your bowels?
                          Take Pepto Bismol now to soothe your howls.
                                            Exit sponsor 2
                     Exeunt McCainus and Georgie P., dancing the Macarena

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