Enter Scooterus on a street, disguised in drag, reading a letter
Scooterus: ‘Caesar, beware of Chenie, take thou heed!’
For thus play I a double-crossing deed.
Alarums, excursions. Enter sponsor 1
Sponsor 1: You double-cross, and we do double-charge
At Halliburton; we are thou writ large.
Exit sponsor 1
Scooterus: My master’s orders have I now fulfilled,
To New York’s Times I leak, to Hamburg’s Bild,
To Paris’ Figaro, and to a host
Of others, not the least Washington’s Post;
The knowing lies, omissions, false intell-
Igence, hyped rumours, all the poisoned well
Of fibs and whoppers, hokum, bosh and bull
That Caesar wove at Chenie’s push and pull.
Alone he knows not how the dog to wag,
E’en think himself out of a paper bag
He cannot, but that Chenie show the way
To think, speak, act each moment of the day.
But I digress. The point I wish to note,
My leaks will lead the senators to vote
Him out, and my boss in. But should it fail,
A chad too dimpled, and Caesar prevail,
Then have I here insurance policy:
‘O, dear my lord, did I not caution thee
Of their foul schemes?’ Thus will I have an in
Should Chenie fail and Bushie Caesar win.
Here will I stand till Caesar pass along,
And as a suitor, hand him this my song.
Exit, shuffling off to Buffalo
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