Saturday, September 25, 2010

7 - The Tragedy of Bushius Caesar Act 2 Scene 3

                    Enter Scooterus on a street, disguised in drag, reading a letter

Scooterus:        ‘Caesar, beware of Chenie, take thou heed!’
                         For thus play I a double-crossing deed.
                                     Alarums, excursions. Enter sponsor 1

Sponsor 1:        You double-cross, and we do double-charge
                         At Halliburton; we are thou writ large.
                                             Exit sponsor 1

Scooterus:         My master’s orders have I now fulfilled,
                         To New York’s Times I leak, to Hamburg’s Bild,
                         To Paris’ Figaro, and to a host
                         Of others, not the least Washington’s Post;
                         The knowing lies, omissions, false intell-
                         Igence, hyped rumours, all the poisoned well
                         Of fibs and whoppers, hokum, bosh and bull
                         That Caesar wove at Chenie’s push and pull.
                         Alone he knows not how the dog to wag,
                         E’en think himself out of a paper bag
                         He cannot, but that Chenie show the way
                         To think, speak, act each moment of the day.
                         But I digress. The point I wish to note,
                         My leaks will lead the senators to vote
                         Him out, and my boss in. But should it fail,
                         A chad too dimpled, and Caesar prevail,
                         Then have I here insurance policy:
                         ‘O, dear my lord, did I not caution thee
                         Of their foul schemes?’ Thus will I have an in
                         Should Chenie fail and Bushie Caesar win.
                         Here will I stand till Caesar pass along,
                         And as a suitor, hand him this my song.
                                              Exit, shuffling off to Buffalo

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